(she turns down the sheets but isn't ready for them. they don't hold her like she needs them to.
like a lover. like a child. like a woman in silk.
the verdict is, thus: she decides, its time to sleep myself to a soothed state of dreams that lilt...)
the real world is pressing on me some.
i need a job.
a real decent paying job
a job that helps me feel like i can go to the grocery store and not worry about the chances of my items totaling over 15 dollars.
on the up side i talked to joe today. and it was another good peaceful conversation. like the last one was i guess.
i looked at pictures of us last night and for once, i didn't see the sour side of my memories.
only the happy ones.
it's so easy to switch things on or off in true hindsight.
i talked to tim last night and i cried a little.
he asked me why and i had a lot of trouble explaining.
sometimes when i cry it's just coz i feel like i need to.
there isn't always some formulaic logical framework for where the tears come from.
it's been that way for as long as i can remember.
when i was ten or so, sometimes i would just lay on our couch (the one that looked like the rosanne couch) and just weep. my mom or dad would come in and ask me why i was crying. red faced and bloaty eyed i would say "i don't know why i'm crying". and it was the honest truth.
maybe i store up some of the worlds sorrow and it leaks out of me when it needs to?
oh lord, have i ever sounded so emo in my life?
even better, i just used the word emo.
i think i miss norfolk some. i miss the reliability of knowing erry'body.
i couldn't go hungry in norfolk.
not that i'm going hungry here,
but i can't call up my girls and get a group field trip together to the number one buffet.
it's all very humbling.
being a little fish in a very very wide pond.
with lots of crazy lily pads this trout ain't never seen!
just another adventure in the great journey of living.
the universe will provide me what i need.
faith.
-skye
